You Tanks Your Chances

[August 27th, 2008]

The dimly lit, maritime-themed bar Tanker (4825 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 445-4635) is an eye-catching place. Located a hop, skip and a jump from Southeast Hawthorne Boulevard’s busiest stretch, it has five flat-screen televisions and a loud jukebox that blares everything from the Scorpions to the White Stripes. The wood-paneled walls and ceiling are rounded at the top—like you’re drinking inside a ship’s hull. And the windows are anchored down with heavy-duty metal bolts and framing, just like in a real tanker! While the turbine-shaped ceiling fans are admittedly damn cool, the fact that taps had run dry on three of four beers we ordered is not. Despite the dry taps of terror, though, Tanker gets snaps for having an Oregon-dominant draft beer menu ($2.25-$4.50) which includes Ninkasi (Eugene), New Old Lompoc (Portland), Collaborator (Portland) and Tanker’s own Crude Stout. If you prefer tall boys, this ship carries 19 beers by the can ($2-$4), from standards like Pabst and Guinness to more exotic beers like Belhaven Scottish ($4) and Oranjeboom. A full bar, a smattering of wines and a food menu laced with premium drunchie materials like the Tanker Frito Pie ($7, Fritos topped with chili, sour cream and nacho cheese), pizza ($10 and up) and hot sandwiches ($8) mean Tanker has a lot to offer. Whether they can make good that offer (the beer, I’m talking about the beer!) remains to be seen.