The Young and the Restless
Hipster alert! Hipster alert! Our trenchant bohemian finds all the dives your mother warned you about.

BY LIZ BROWN
243-2122 EXT. 325



contents

PUB CRAWLS

BREWPUBS

BREW CLUB PROFILE

BRITISH, IRISH

CHI-CHI

COCKTAILS

THE SCIENCE OF DRINKING

FUN AND GAMES

GAY BARS

KARAOKE

OLD MEN

OUTDOORS

SPORTS BARS

WINE

WINE WORDS


 


It's a good thing that not all pre-middle-aged Portlanders work 8-to-5 jobs, shop at The Gap and hang out in brightly lit brewpubs and forest-green-and-brass sports bars--these places are crowded enough. There's a slew of us who avoid corporate jobs in the suburbs at all costs, who regularly comb the racks at thrift stores, and who like to think that someday we'll actually make money pursuing creative endeavors involving music, art or writing (yeah, right). In the meantime, we work weird hours, frequent rock shows, steer clear of the college and yuppie crowds and seek out the ideal cheap buzz. Sure, we can be annoying and standoffish, but we know how to have a good time, really.

Sometimes we find our pleasures at old-man dives or tiny, out-of-the-way bars around the corner. The drinks cost less than those at trendier hangouts. Cheap beer reigns. There's a blessed absence of crowds and a plethora of parking spaces. Jukeboxes are another advantage of these casual havens, offering musical choices superior to the repetitive KNRK or soulless DMX crap filtering through so many places like a lethal radon leak. Close proximity to rock-'n'-roll joints also wins points, since venues serving only beer don't always cut it. Even if a place does serve liquor--let's face it--there are some bands you'd rather not stick around to hear. Have a couple drinks, stay out late and sleep in the next day--it's one of the fringe benefits of not having a real job.

BEULAHLAND
This recently expanded cafe and bar has become Indie Rock Central lately, with a diner vibe, free local shows on weekends and kitsch galore. Revolving art, giant sign letters and plentiful chairs and tables barely allow room for towers of empty Rainier boxes on busy nights. Pounders are to this eclectic place what Schlitz is to La Cruda. Sixteen ounces of icy, refreshing beer for a buck-fifty is tailor made for swilling while bouncing around a crowded room in polyester duds to noisy, live rock. Microbrews, including the hearty Anderson Valley Oatmeal Stout and Terminal Gravity IPA, are better for sipping and 'zine-reading on mellower weekday eves.

118 NE 28TH AVE., 235-2794. OPEN DAILY. BEER AND WINE.

CLUB 21
A Black Velvet bottle cutout slapped up on a wood-paneled wall conveys the credo of this smoky dive: stiff drinks and no frills. The working class daytime scene gives way to rock 'n' roll types at night, thanks to the bar's location (location, location) across Sandy Boulevard from the equally lowbrow EJ's, where cocktails are a no-no. Between band sets, there's a mass exodus of showgoers to the little stucco castle, and not everyone makes it back (at least, not in time for the next band). Sure, they serve Bud and Full Sail here, but why pass up strong, cheap drinks, especially if you're a starving musician? As the liquor goes down, the volume of the boisterous crowd goes up while Zeppelin and James Brown tunes emanate from the jukebox.

2035 NE GLISAN ST., 235-5690.
OPEN DAILY. BEER, WINE AND LIQUOR.

LA CRUDA
La Cruda is a shrine to Schlitz beer. It's not just the plastic lamps and signs hanging everywhere. On any night, cans of the watery domestic stuff (a buck each) occupy almost every linoleum tabletop in the place. Of course, a place named after the Spanish word for "hangover" also serves harder stuff: Frosty margaritas come from a machine with a happy penguin twirling on top (after a few of these, you will be, too), and cocktails or whiskey served in simple water glasses send you on your way as AC/DC screams or Elvis croons. Ladies' night on Mondays is the perfect opportunity for gals and guys to meet up with other poor musicians and Clinton Street regulars swilling 50-cent Schlitzes and discounted well drinks.

2500 SE CLINTON ST., 233-0745.
OPEN DAILY. BEER, WINE AND LIQUOR.

LAURELTHIRST PUBLIC HOUSE
Thirst is the ideal excuse to climb up on a stool and point to one of a vast selection of taps on the wall behind the rich, wood bar here (the phrase "kid in a candy store" comes to mind). Everything from Obsidean Stout to Newcastle and the lighter Pilsner Urquell awaits the corduroy and denim roots-music crowd, beneath a sign warning "Be Good or Be Gone." Sure, you could stray from your spot to inch closer to the stage while regulars the Pagan Jug Band and the Belmont Street Octet play or to shoot pool in the adjoining room. But keep in mind that means straying from the best seat in the house. A menu full of hearty comfort food is the perfect reason to order up another pint, too.

2958 NE GLISAN ST., 232-1504.OPEN DAILY. BEER AND WINE.

THE LUTZ
The jukebox is as varied as the crowd at this veteran neighborhood spot (four plays for a buck, too). Hank Williams and Johnny Cash sit alongside Fugazi, Pavement and Quasi, and the old-timers who rule the place by day are joined by a younger bunch at night. A few Reedies trickle in, but more of the patrons are waiting for a table at the Delta Cafe a few doors down or knocking one back between noisy sets at the punk rock, all-ages 17 Nautical Miles down the block. Some just come to relax and enjoy $1 cans of Pabst sans attitude (a decent selection of microbrews and ciders is available, too). Two-dollar ham sandwiches, video poker, pool tables, and weathered brown booths add to the Anybar, U.S.A., aura.

4639 SE WOODSTOCK BLVD., 774-0353.
OPEN DAILY. BEER, WINE AND CIDER.

PUB AT THE END OF THE UNIVERSE
Through a doorway beneath a sign that reads simply "Pub" is a split-level, shag-carpeted interior as comfy as the house of your '70s youth. Tacky paintings and signs advertising cheap beer cover the walls, but most of the brews here are of the micro variety (don't worry, they do have Hamm's). Get a pitcher of Alaskan Amber or one of more than 20 others brews on tap, hunker down on a leopard-spotted bench, or play darts or pool. In the spirit of laid-back Southeast, minimal effort is evident here: The magazines in the rack are circa 1995, and the décor could use a little sprucing up. Yet, the lack of urban trendiness is part of the appeal. Long-hairs and other non-jocks happily coexist, playing everything from Van Morrison to David Bowie on the jukebox.

4107 SE 28TH AVE., 238-9355.
CLOSED SUNDAY. BEER AND WINE.

RINGLERS ANNEX
This ornate sliver of a bar is an escape from the trendy Northwest and college crowds typical of its McMenamins brother, Ringlers Pub, a few blocks away. The intimate space is a welcome departure from the hulking Crystal Ballroom for a pre- or post-show pint of IPA or Black Rabbit Red wine, too. There's a drink here to go with any of the fancy desserts, cigars and light meals offered. The cellar is a cozy hideaway with dark wood benches, unfinished concrete walls, candlelight, and music from jazz to Bjork to the Supremes (not to mention attractive servers). The drinks aren't cheap, but sitting outside and sipping sweet, summery drinks like The Aphrodisiac, made with juices squeezed before your eyes, makes it all worthwhile.

1223 SW STARK ST., 525-0520.
OPEN DAILY. BEER, WINE AND LIQUOR.

TIGER BAR
The dark, plush ambience of this Pearl District bar attracts a slightly swanky, urban nightclub crowd, with more artist types coming around for nearby gallery shows. DJs spin classy jazz, hip-hop and R&B appropriate for slinking around in something tight and black or leaning back elegantly against the giant cushy pillows while sipping a drink. The Skyy vodka-based Liquid Love and Damiana and Sauza Hornitos combo, "Horny Rita," highlight the sultry cocktail theme of the place. The drinks could be stronger, but a substantial beer selection and tasty pan-cultural menu are consolation.

317 NW BROADWAY, 222-7297.
OPEN DAILY. BEER, WINE AND LIQUOR.

1201 CAFE AND LOUNGE
Everything about the 1201 screams cocktail, from the gold letters spelling liquor brands lining the walls to the loungy, shiny red booths and darkness. Choosing a drink is more fun than at your average bar, with specialties like the One Night Stand (Absolut Kurant and Wilderberry) and the Ernest Borgnine ("the ultimate old man drink"). Foofy margaritas and other tropical concoctions, along with coffee drinks like the Edith Piaf (Kahlua, Grand Marnier, nutmeg and coffee) are highlights. Too bad the cocktails themselves don't pack much of a punch. Still, for the leather-jacket boys and those who come for the rock and rockabilly shows, beer usually wins out.

1201 SW 12TH AVE., 225-1201.
OPEN DAILY. BEER, WINE AND LIQUOR.

THE VERN
Besides its busted sign, this bar is known for $4 pitchers of Pabst and a killer jukebox. The mellow regulars don't seem to mind when kids of the '80s spend their quarters on Devo, Dead Moon or the Germs over Neil Diamond, either. Thursday night means 50-cent tacos, buffet-style on the bar. Lewd bathroom graffiti ("How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?"), pool tables and a friendly bartender who knows your name make The Vern the definitive local tavern. The place serves yuppie beers, too, but swilling a trusty Pabst while chomping on cheap tacos with the Dead Kennedys blasting just feels right.

2622 SE BELMONT ST., 233-7851.
OPEN DAILY. BEER AND WINE.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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