Maybe I'm reading into the situation, but that's the way
it seems to me. I could understand more easily if he didn't
like oral sex, or if he was disgusted by the sex act itself,
but kissing? So much of my own sense of intimacy and comfort
in a relationship is bound up with kissing. What do you think?
Is it possible to be turned off by kissing?
But no matter how much therapy he gets, you may never know
exactly why he doesn't like kissing. You might as well ask
why kissing became such a fad in the first place. Ye old mouth-to-mouth
is actually one of the kinkier modern popularizations, unknown
to previous generations raised on air kisses and nose rubs.
Lucky for you, you can still find out if he's able to bond
by noticing his other behavioral markers. Does he praise your
father's holiday-themed barbecue sauce, no matter how odd
the odor? Does he let your kid sister win all the board games?
Kissing enthusiasm isn't the only way to judge a person's
bonding skills.
Ultimately, you'll have to decide if the knowledge of his
affection is enough, or if your kissing kink is so strong
it can't be sated without mouth-to-mouth action. There's something
to be said for common interests. Keep asking him (and your
friends) for clarification, but don't be afraid to trust your
own judgment too.
Even though his parents have welcomed me into their home,
and even though my boyfriend studies Hebrew and the Torah
for chrissakes (things that my parents never used to care
about, BTW), my parents refused to invite him over for the
holidays. My mom has met my boyfriend only once (by accident),
my dad not at all.
My guy feels so much German guilt, bless his heart, that
he is willing to be understanding about my parents' rudeness.
However, I am seriously thinking about marrying "my little
Nazi boyfriend" and I don't feel that life can continue according
to my parents' crazy commandments. If I marry him, will I
have to cut off my parents forever? Will they accept grandchildren
who are one quarter German? Or do you think they'll come around?
I love my parents, but right now my loyalties lie with sanity
and justice and not filial respect. I've decided not to speak
to my parents until I'm sure about my guy, but then, the only
thing keeping me away from him is my parents. Suey, I call
on your cross-cultural expertise to help me out of this mess!
If that's not your style, then take your time and wait until
it is. You shouldn't be asked to choose between family members.
But family members don't have to like each other, either.
If you can convince your parents that he's kin to you, they'll
do what they can to make him feel nervous at reunions. Don't
worry about that--it's only appropriate and right for in-laws
to do so.
|
5/5/99
|
|
-Crushed out on movie stars |
| 5/12/99 |
|
-My 22-year-old daughter is threatening to marry her
23-year-old boyfriend
-I met someone over the Internet - but I'm afraid she's
a stalker!
|
| 5/19/99 |
|
-How to buy a dildo |
| 5/26/99 |
|
-Do you think it's OK
to break up with a guy over sex?
-My boyfriend is homophobic and my best friend is a gay
man. |
| 6/2/99 |
|
-Should I
choose a relationship or the single life?
-How can I tell if I really love my girlfriend, or just
her money? |
| 6/9/99 |
|
-My boyfriend
feels like a pervert
-Should I jeopardize my relationship for sex with my ex? |
| 6/16/99 |
|
-dildos can
reaffirm your humanity
-where are all the straight men? |
| 6/23/99 |
|
-My wife wants an open marriage
-I can't stand my in-laws' cooking
|
| 6/30/99 |
|
-black man
seeks advice for courting an Asian lady
-tip from a queer customer |
|
|
|
-My lover is
a slob
-Breaking up is hard to do |
| 7/14/99 |
|
-Buying porn |
| 7/21/99 |
|
-After two years, my boyfriend and I don't have sex
enough
-I'm still in love with my ex, and she's getting married
|
| 7/28/99 |
|
-My girlfriend is obsessed with
telephone psychics.
- I'd rather be with my cat than my girlfriend
|
| 8/4/99 |
|
-I started seeing a guy who's an 'emotional dud'
-I'm 50-plus and want to get back into dating, love
and sex.
|
| 8/11/99 |
|
-I'm 19, but
I only like older women
-When should I meet my online pal? |
| 8/18/99 |
|
-I haven't been attracted to anyone lately
-My girlfriend changed her mind when I was gone for
two weeks.
|
| 8/25/99 |
|
-My boyfriend believes it was love at first sight,
and I don't.
-My boyfriend claims I don't take care of my appearance
any more.
|
| 9/1/99 |
|
-Do I really want my first time to be as "Girlfriend
No. 71"?
-Is this your real name?
|
| 9/8/99 |
|
-My girlfriend likes to wear thong underwear, and wants
me to as well.
-Is it that bad to be romantically dormant all my life?
|
| 9/15/99 |
|
-Cold sores ruined my relationship
-Suey's relationship track record.
|
| 9/22/99 |
|
-My boyfriend doesn't like my
artwork.
-My girlfriend drives like a maniac. |
| 9/29/99 |
|
-I can't
reach orgasm with my girlfriend.
-Break-up avoidance strategies. |
| 10/6/99 |
|
-How to date with the teenage
children living at home.
-My best friend ran off with my crush. |
| 10/13/99 |
|
-I've
never had an orgasm. Do you have any suggestions for me?
-What should I do with my argumentative boyfriend? |
| 10/20/99 |
|
-How should I discuss my spanking
fantsies with my wife?
-Are Portland women 'cold'? |
| 10/27/99 |
|
-My wife wants to have sex with
another man
-Impotence. That's the problem. |
| 11/03/99 |
|
-Why does every woman of quality
have a boyfriend?
-I am in love with three men. |
| 11/10/99 |
|
-A friend of mine has eyes for
a guy she's working with
-I have tons of male friends, but no boyfriends |
| 11/17/99 |
|
-I'm a frustrated 16-year-old
male
-My boyfriend of two years is terribly jealous of an ex-boyfriend.
|
| 11/24/99 |
|
-Does penis size matter?
-My marriage is falling apart |
| 12/01/99 |
|
-I'm in love with my best friend
-How do women in porn films get their crotches so hairless? |
| 12/08/99 |
|
-My long-distance partner wants
to be non-monogamous
-My partner is a workaholic |
| 12/15/99 |
|
-I
love my partner, but want to have sex with other women
-I'm in a good relationship, but my girlfriend's not interested
in sex
-I've been dating someone new, but I'm not sure if he's
millenium-worthy |
| 12/22/99 |
|
-What's your opinion
on dating coworkers?
-I love my girlfriend, but she won't marry me |
| 12/28/99 |
|
-Should I get back
together with my child's father?
- On the cheating scale, how bad are online sex chats? |
| 1/5/00 |
|
-My
phone chat line 'friend' turns out to be my co-worker's
fiancée |
| 1/12/00 |
|
-I think I'm addicted
to sex
-My boyfriend is a cross-dresser |
| 1/19/00 |
|
-Is it true that men like girls?
-My job and my man are not compatible
|
| 1/26/00 |
|
-Is web sex cheating?
-Dealing with self-consciousness |
| 2/2/00 |
|
-It's
Desperate Hunky Man Week! |
| 2/9/00 |
|
-Is making out
with a drunk friend a bad idea? |
| 2/16/00 |
|
-Is my boyfriend still fantasizing about a threesome?
-Tips for a virgin on what makes a woman quiver.
|
| 2/23/00 |
|
-What do I say to people who ask why I've never been
married?
-What's the proper etiquette for dating through the
personals?
|
| 3/01/00 |
|
-My
boyfriend believes that men are not required to reciprocate
sexually.
-How can I make up for missing Valentine's Day? |
| 3/08/00 |
|
-What
should I do with my once-cheating boyfriend?.
-Exclusively online romances have their advantages? |
| 3/15/00 |
|
-I
love performing oral sex, but hate eating the hair.
-My girlfriend doesn't enjoy sex, she's just a cuddler. |
| 3/22/00 |
|
-My
girlfriend is dating a married man.
-I just got out of a long-term relationship, do I want
another right now? |
| 4/12/00 |
|
-I
would like to try stripping, but I've some things to overcome
-I met a booth stripper, during her show and now I'm in
love. |
| 4/19/00 |
|
-My
ex-girlfriend still entertains ideas of us reconciling.
I'm ignoble.
-How can I prolong my happy time? |
| 4/26/00 |
|
-My
guy's so sexually pedestrian
-Our daughter is bitter at us for breaking off her affair
with an older man |
| 5/03/00 |
|
-I'm
an ex-porn performer and I know nothing of lovemaking,
only fucking
-I'm tired of being the guy friend. |
| 5/10/00 |
|
-Suey
hears from the virgins |
| 5/17/00 |
|
-What
do you think about Ross Jeffries' Speed Seduction seminar
and other programs that promise to teach a guy how to
get women in bed? |
| 5/24/00 |
|
-I've
recently started paling around (and more) with a married
guy; now it's getting weird. |
| 5/31/00 |
|
-Without
a ring how is a guy to know if a woman's available?
-I love my husband but recently we fight about everything.
I want to try marriage counselling but we're both skeptical.
|
| 6/7/00 |
|
-"I
want to know what love is"
-I'm attracted to unavailable men. Married, uncommunicative,
religious, sports-oriented or work-obsessed men seem to
be my specialty. |
| 6/14/00 |
|
-My
best friend, who's a straight male, initiated a sexual
encounter. Now our friendship is horribly strained, what's
a guy to do?
-What's the etiquette on roommates bringing home lovers
and all that? |
| 6/21/00 |
|
-
There's this girl.... and I want to talk to her.
-Why is it that all the men I meet only want to casually
date or have casual sex? |
| 6/28/00 |
|
-I'm
involved in a relationship that I'm afraid might shock
and alienate my family and friends, how to proceed? |
| 7/04/00 |
|
-
I met this wonderful girl... |
| 7/12/00 |
|
-I'm
a guy who doesn't like sex.
-I broke up with my boyfriend of three years, but now
I deeply regret it... |
| 7/19/00 |
|
-
Suey, what's with your lame gender cliches? |
| 7/26/00 |
|
-I
think I'm Straight-Curious (if there is such a thing)
-I've been off and on with my college boyfriend for over
12 years. We're having trouble moving to the next level.
|
| 8/2/00 |
|
- I'm 32, just divorce, and dating a guy who's 25.
Is there something wrong with what I'm doing??
- I am older and therefore wiser. Your readers are naive.
I'll help you set them straight.
|
| 8/9/00 |
|
-Just
when I had lost all hope in men, I met the most amazing
guy.
-I'm thinking about contacting a dominatrix. Any advice
on how to present myself? |
| 8/16/00 |
|
-My boyfriend is such a sweetheart when he's with me,
but when he's out with his guy friends, he turns into
a total pig.
-The world's biggest ass
|
| 8/23/00 |
|
-A year ago, I cheated on my boyfriend of three years
with another woman. How can I fix this? He is freaking
out.
-Oh Ms. Chow, in this case you're wrong |
| 8/30/00 |
|
-When do you tell someone you're dating that you have
hepatitis?
|
| 9/6/00 |
|
-Clueless fellow in deeply sordid situation
-I'm beginning to suspect a connection between chemical
dependency and emotional dependency, or maybe between
fitness and emotional independence.
-Is there any way to turn down a bridesmaid offer without
offending? |
| 9/13/00 |
|
-My wife doesn't want to have sex anymore
-I used to be in the sex service profession, should I
tell the man I'm about to marry? |
| 9/20/00 |
|
-I started playing out some of my fantasies with my lover
in the last year. Things have gotten complex.
- I explained that nail polish is only for girls, to which
my son insisted, "I'm a girl too!" |
| 9/27/00 |
|
-I'm dating my close friend's ex-husband
-Even though he is gonna dump me after having sex, I still
want go out with him. |
| 10/04/00 |
|
-Three straight guys agree: Hey, what's with the ladies?
|
| 10/11/00 |
|
-Are there side-effects to jerking off?
-I'm married, he's married, we're deeply in love with
each other and having an affair. And now he's asking me
to marry him. |
| 10/18/00 |
|
-I have recently gotten out of a yearlong relationship
with someone I considered my best friend...now, heartbroken.
|
| 10/25/00 |
|
-
I'm fascinated and infatuated with the parking valet boys
at Bluehour.
- I am wondering why I am finding it so difficult to meet
that special person. |
| 11/1/00 |
|
- I am unable to make my girlfriend orgasm through intercourse
or oral sex.
- The chronically ill have to realize that their life-and-death
medical tragedies aren't the only problems in the world!
What about the mental discomfort of the physically healthy?
|
| 11/8/00 |
|
-
This asshole stripper is giving me the run around
- I love my husband, but in the last few months, every
little thing about him drives me crazy. |
| 11/14/00 |
|
-I
am in love with a man who wants all the benefits of a
long-term, committed relationship without the commitment.
- I'm a 30-year-old gay man who has yet to be in a significant
relationship. |
| 11/21/00 |
|
-
My prom date and I encountered each other at a party after
not seeing each other for 14 years, one week after I suffered
a near-fatal accident.
-There aren't any men out there willing to settle down
with a simple country girl. I live and breathe country. |
| 11/28/00 |
|
-
Can you explain to me why women hate shy men?
- Why do men hate women? |
| 12/05/00 |
|
-
I accidentally came across a cache of porn on her computer,
mostly of nude women. Is my mother a lesbian?
-My father keeps a huge stash of porn on his computer.
|
| 12/12/00 |
|
-
I am 29 years old, female, and I just cannot orgasm from
penetration (intercourse).
- My impression of Portland is that it's an older crowd
that's mostly married. Is my impression correct? |
| 12/17/00 |
|
-My husband and I have an open relationship for most
of the years we've been married, when do we tell our
teenage kids?
-My "straight" friend persists in flirting
with me (I'm gay).
|
| 12/24/00 |
|
-
I am 33 years old, overweight my whole life. Now I've
shed 70 pounds and want to begin dating. Tips?
- How can a woman develop her vaginal muscles to shoot
ping-pong balls and smoke joints? |
| 12/31/00 |
|
- Some stupid straight guy
|
